Moon. Glorious moon. Full, Fat Reddish moon, the night as light as day, the moonlight flooding down across the land and bringing joy, joy, joy. If such words had been said to her Majesty, Princess Luna 1,000 years ago. Maybe she wouldn't have gotten jealous and Nightmare Moon would never had came to existence. But I'm not hunting Nightmare Moon. No, I'm hunting somepony even worst. A sick, twisted, depraved, monster who kills with little to no remorse. And if you met her before, you wouldn't believe she was one of the same. And sickest thing is, I can sorta relate to her. Who am I? Well, that would give away the ending now wouldn't it. All you need to now right now is that you should never judge a fanfic by it's title.
And there she is now. Ms. Pinkamena Diane Pie. Or as she's known around here, Pinkie Pie. Don't let that kooky, fun-lovin' smile fool you, That's the smile of a killer.
I've been waiting years for this one! Waiting and watching. Watching and waiting. The Dark Saddle-rider will be pleased with her! Just gonna slowly and carefully now...BAM! In goes the needle full of morphine. Knocking her unconscious.
And soon the real fun can begin!
A couple hours later, Pinkie has finally gained consciousness. She looks around and finds herself in a dark(but strangely familiar) room. She tries to move her body but finds that a bunch of plastic wrap has held her head and body firmly in place. She tries to scream but the duct tape on her mouth makes that entirely impossible.
"Goodie, you're wake. Now we can get started," I said to her after just finishing my bran flavored baked good. I step out of the shadows while bringing out a small cart covered with a cloth.
"Dmmmmm Wmmmmm?!" Pinkie muffled.
"Yep, it's me alright! And I bet you're wondering what's going on?" I asked her. To which she tries to shake her head. I then rip off the duct tape and say, "payback, of course!"
"Payback!? For what?!" She screamed."I've done nothing wrong!" I laugh at such an obvious fib."Nothing wrong? Really? Tell me Pinkie, does this place seem familiar to you?"
Pinkie then looks around, or at least as best she could given her current predicament. The room was decorated with a typical but twisted Pinkie Pie flair. Colorful streamers of dried entrails fluttered around the ceiling, brightly painted skulls of all sizes were attached to the walls, and organs done up in pastels filled with helium were tied to the backs of chairs. The tables and chairs were made of bones and and the preserved flesh of past ponies. I pointed to the center piece of the table nearest to her. The heads of four foals, their eyes closed as if they were sleeping, were wearing party hats made from there own skin. her eyes then darted back and forth and then fell upon a patchwork banner hanging from the rafters. Made from several pony hides, the words "Life is a party" were scrawled on it in blood red. And all of this was covered by a thin layer of plastic wrap.
"Well the plastic wrap wasn't here the last I-I mean, why have you brought me here? What is this horrible place!?" Pinkie Pie screamed. Dammit! I almost had her!
"Well then, what do think of my new dress?" I asked, reviling a dress quilted from dried skin, emblazoned with cutie marks. On the back of it fluttered six pegasus wings, all of different colors. As I walked around her, the necklace of severed unicorn horns clacked together loudly. the dress was complimented with a pair of work gloves that were on my hoofs and a clear glass wielding helmet resting on my head.
"Well for starters the gloves and helmet do not go with the dress. I mean, I may not be Rarity, But I did not make that dress just for you uglify the shit out of it- I mean, what the hell kind of sicko are you, wearing something like that! Do you have no shame?" Well this is getting us nowhere fast! I guess it's time for plan C.
"Well then, if that's you answer I guess I'm just gonna have the do this!" I pull a rope, reviling what appears to be Rainbow Dash. only she had a big stitch mark across her belly, her cutie mark was missing and her wings seem to have disappeared.
"Wha-what have you done to Rainbow Dash?" She said in a very convincing faux concern, this must be how she got away with it for so long.
"Oh! I didn't do this to Rainbow Dash. You did!"
"Me!? I didn't do this!!" Again in such a convincing manner you'd swear she was actually pony. If I wasn't in such a hurry I probably ask for lessons.
"Oh please. You and I both know that's a load of shit!"
"No really!! I had nothing to do with this!"
"Then how do you explain the words Dearest Dashie: Thank you for letting me cut off your cutie mark and wings, eat a part of you, nail hot coals into you, electrocute you and finally rip out your major organs one by one. It was fun! Hope we can do it again sometime! Luv Pinkie Pie written on her in dried blood?"
Oh for the love of..."Celestia dammit! Just confess already!"
"Alright I admit it! I DID IT! I KILLED HER!" She finally screamed, taking me back a little."I did it, alright! And you know what? She's not the only one! I've killed hundreds of ponies. Unicorns, Earth Ponies, Pegasus, little colts, I even killed a Griffon once. I slaughtered and ate them all! And I don't a damn bit sorry. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR!!!"
"Yes, thank you." Was all I could say on the matter."Just one question. Why? Why would you do such a thing to so many innocent ponies?"
"Why? BECAUSE I CAN! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO KILL SOMEPONY! THE RUSH YOU GET FROM CUTTING SOMEPONY OPEN LIKE A BIRTHDAY PRESENT! THE POWER YOU FEEL WHEN YOU TAKE SOMEPONIES' LIFE AND JUST",she pause a bit,"SNUFF IT OUT!"
"Oh yes I do." I stated while pulling the duct tape back over her mouth."Cause, just like you, I feel empty inside. However, unlike you, I have standards!"
I then grabbed the cloth and whipped it off the cart. On the cart was a tray containing various sharp medical tools and knives, carefully organized and wickedly sharp, it almost gave me a wingboner! On the tray was also an assortment of trash bags.
She was in full panic mode now. Her muffled screams start to fill the room. To think, her own tools of killing were about to be used to do her in, it was to laugh!
I then take the surgical knife and run it across her cheek. She hisses in pain as the blood was running down her face. I take a eyedropper to suck up some of the blood and put it between two sheets of glass.
"So," I said pulling the wielding mask down on my face and holding a hacksaw."Shall we get this party started?"
"Dmmmmmm?" Pinkie muffled what I believe to have been my name.
"Yeah?" I replied.
"Mm wmmm tm gmm hmmm,"
"What that? You want to go home?" She then nods her head."Yeah, I can see wanting to do that. Sometimes, I just wanna give up, just say 'I'm done with this mess' and go to bed. But you know what? You can't just shrug of your responsibilities. You got to pull yourself up and meet the challenges head on." I look at her with my now uncrossed eyes."That's the only way you're gonna get ahead in life."
And with that, I went to work.