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May 14, 2011
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(Contains: violence/gore and strong language)
Moon. Glorious moon. Full, Fat Reddish moon, the night as light as day, the moonlight flooding down across the land and bringing joy, joy, joy. If such words had been said to her Majesty, Princess Luna 1,000 years ago. Maybe she wouldn't have gotten jealous and Nightmare Moon would never had came to existence. But I'm not hunting Nightmare Moon. No, I'm hunting somepony even worst. A sick, twisted, depraved, monster who kills with little to no remorse. And if you met her before, you wouldn't believe she was one of the same. And sickest thing is, I can sorta relate to her. Who am I? Well, that would give away the ending now wouldn't it. All you need to now right now is that you should never judge a fanfic by it's title.
And there she is now. Ms. Pinkamena Diane Pie. Or as she's known around here, Pinkie Pie. Don't let that kooky, fun-lovin' smile fool you, That's the smile of a killer.
I've been waiting years for this one! Waiting and watching. Watching and waiting. The Dark Saddle-rider will be pleased with her! Just gonna slowly and carefully now...BAM! In goes the needle full of morphine. Knocking her unconscious.
And soon the real fun can begin!

A couple hours later, Pinkie has finally gained consciousness. She looks around and finds herself in a dark(but strangely familiar) room. She tries to move her body but finds that a bunch of plastic wrap has held her head and body firmly in place. She tries to scream but the duct tape on her mouth makes that entirely impossible.
"Goodie, you're wake. Now we can get started," I said to her after just finishing my bran flavored baked good. I step out of the shadows while bringing out a small cart covered with a cloth.
"Dmmmmm Wmmmmm?!" Pinkie muffled.
"Yep, it's me alright! And I bet you're wondering what's going on?" I asked her. To which she tries to shake her head. I then rip off the duct tape and say, "payback, of course!"
"Payback!? For what?!" She screamed."I've done nothing wrong!" I laugh at such an obvious fib."Nothing wrong? Really? Tell me Pinkie, does this place seem familiar to you?"
Pinkie then looks around, or at least as best she could given her current predicament. The room was decorated with a typical but twisted Pinkie Pie flair. Colorful streamers of dried entrails fluttered around the ceiling, brightly painted skulls of all sizes were attached to the walls, and organs done up in pastels filled with helium were tied to the backs of chairs. The tables and chairs were made of bones and and the preserved flesh of past ponies. I pointed to the center piece of the table nearest to her. The heads of four foals, their eyes closed as if they were sleeping, were wearing party hats made from there own skin. her eyes then darted back and forth and then fell upon a patchwork banner hanging from the rafters. Made from several pony hides, the words "Life is a party" were scrawled on it in blood red. And all of this was covered by a thin layer of plastic wrap.
"Well the plastic wrap wasn't here the last I-I mean, why have you brought me here? What is this horrible place!?" Pinkie Pie screamed. Dammit! I almost had her!
"Well then, what do think of my new dress?" I asked, reviling a dress quilted from dried skin, emblazoned with cutie marks. On the back of it fluttered six pegasus wings, all of different colors. As I walked around her, the necklace of severed unicorn horns clacked together loudly. the dress was complimented with a pair of work gloves that were on my hoofs and a clear glass wielding helmet resting on my head.
"Well for starters the gloves and helmet do not go with the dress. I mean, I may not be Rarity, But I did not make that dress just for you uglify the shit out of it- I mean, what the hell kind of sicko are you, wearing something like that! Do you have no shame?" Well this is getting us nowhere fast! I guess it's time for plan C.
"Well then, if that's you answer I guess I'm just gonna have the do this!" I pull a rope, reviling what appears to be Rainbow Dash. only she had a big stitch mark across her belly, her cutie mark was missing and her wings seem to have disappeared.
"Wha-what have you done to Rainbow Dash?" She said in a very convincing faux concern, this must be how she got away with it for so long.
"Oh! I didn't do this to Rainbow Dash. You did!"
"Me!? I didn't do this!!" Again in such a convincing manner you'd swear she was actually pony. If I wasn't in such a hurry I probably ask for lessons.
"Oh please. You and I both know that's a load of shit!"
"No really!! I had nothing to do with this!"
"Then how do you explain the words Dearest Dashie: Thank you for letting me cut off your cutie mark and wings, eat a part of you, nail hot coals into you, electrocute you and finally rip out your major organs one by one. It was fun! Hope we can do it again sometime! Luv Pinkie Pie written on her in dried blood?"
"....SeaPonies?"
Oh for the love of..."Celestia dammit! Just confess already!"
"Alright I admit it! I DID IT! I KILLED HER!" She finally screamed, taking me back a little."I did it, alright! And you know what? She's not the only one! I've killed hundreds of ponies. Unicorns, Earth Ponies, Pegasus, little colts, I even killed a Griffon once. I slaughtered and ate them all! And I don't a damn bit sorry. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR!!!"
"Yes, thank you." Was all I could say on the matter."Just one question. Why? Why would you do such a thing to so many innocent ponies?"
"Why? BECAUSE I CAN! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO KILL SOMEPONY! THE RUSH YOU GET FROM CUTTING SOMEPONY OPEN LIKE A BIRTHDAY PRESENT! THE POWER YOU FEEL WHEN YOU TAKE SOMEPONIES' LIFE AND JUST",she pause a bit,"SNUFF IT OUT!"
"Oh yes I do." I stated while pulling the duct tape back over her mouth."Cause, just like you, I feel empty inside. However, unlike you, I have standards!"
I then grabbed the cloth and whipped it off the cart. On the cart was a tray containing various sharp medical tools and knives, carefully organized and wickedly sharp, it almost gave me a wingboner! On the tray was also an assortment of trash bags.
She was in full panic mode now. Her muffled screams start to fill the room. To think, her own tools of killing were about to be used to do her in, it was to laugh!
I then take the surgical knife and run it across her cheek. She hisses in pain as the blood was running down her face. I take a eyedropper to suck up some of the blood and put it between two sheets of glass.
"So," I said pulling the wielding mask down on my face and holding a hacksaw."Shall we get this party started?"
"Dmmmmmm?" Pinkie muffled what I believe to have been my name.
"Yeah?" I replied.
"Mm wmmm tm gmm hmmm,"
"What that? You want to go home?" She then nods her head."Yeah, I can see wanting to do that. Sometimes, I just wanna give up, just say 'I'm done with this mess' and go to bed. But you know what? You can't just shrug of your responsibilities. You got to pull yourself up and meet the challenges head on." I look at her with my now uncrossed eyes."That's the only way you're gonna get ahead in life."
And with that, I went to work.
When a certain sadistic pink pony meets a wolf in pony's clothing. she'll learn that some parties have their consequences!

MLP:FiM (c) by Hasbro

Dexter Series (c) by Showtime

Cupcakes (c) by Sergeant Sprinkles [link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconhappyhorseshoe303:
happyhorseshoe303 Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2013
wow... nice! it's good to see Pinkie getting some comeuppance for this. and the scary thing is, based on her actions in canon, this could very well be part of her personality. Party Of One, anyone? Cutie Mark Failure Insanity Syndrome is a scary, scary thing...
Reply
:iconspyrocynderember18:
SPYROCYNDEREMBER18 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2012   Artist
Why was Derpy doing this? It makes no sense whatsoever.
Reply
:iconcenteking:
centeking Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2013
Let's just say....Pinkie just gonna get a taste of her own medicine.
Reply
:iconready2fatality:
Ready2Fatality Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013
Have you read the fanfic "Cupcakes"? yeah. that's why
Reply
:icontroperpuppy:
TroperPuppy Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2011
You know, this was a damn good fic. I liked it a lot.

But the grammar could use some work.
Reply
:icondbz123273:
dbz123273 Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011
Derpy Hooves: Now with 50% more badass!
Reply
:iconchopsilverblood:
ChopSilverBlood Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2011
WOW. I will never see Derpy the same way again. And Isn't Dexter owned by Showtime?
Reply
:iconweirdkev-27:
WeirdKev-27 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2011
Thanks for pointing that out!
Reply
:iconchopsilverblood:
ChopSilverBlood Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011
No problem! given that it was uploaded back in May, I'm surprised no one else has.... ^^;
Reply
:iconneeble:
Neeble Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011
It's another interesting end, though I have to say it could use some polishing.
Reply
:iconweirdkev-27:
WeirdKev-27 Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011
Explain how?
Reply
:iconready2fatality:
Ready2Fatality Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013
I think he WANTED Pinkie to die in the end. I recommend the way that Scythe did his alt ending: shoving Pinky in a furnace, turning the knob all the way up, hearing her screams of help, and it gets quiet.
Reply
:iconpikachu-kitty:
Pikachu-Kitty Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
FFFFFF- Derpy.
Reply
:icongiraffylord:
giraffylord Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2011
awwwwwwwwwwwww if this had went into Derpy's "work", i might have actually done a series of backflips from pure joy. oh well, its good enough, i suppose
Reply
:icondarkwee009:
darkwee009 Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2011
TV Tropes says "Hi!"

[link]

Look for Revenge Fic trope.
Reply
:iconpj202718:
pj202718 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2011
Daintily Dreaming Derpy?? I'm never going to look at her the same way again.
Reply
:iconvampirepiggy13:
vampirepiggy13 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Another reason why I love Derpy, she's a sadistic killer, just like me! XD
Reply
:iconrockhopperiscool:
RockHopperIsCool Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2011
omg
Reply
:iconalacat:
Alacat Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2011  Student
"I look at her with my now uncrossed eyes."
That's when I figured out it was Derpy Hooves. xD
Reply
:iconnova225:
Nova225 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2011
Oh no now !

You JUST didn't freaking went and corrupted ''muffins'' too ! :sherlock:

Ditzy Doo aka Derpy Hooves OWNS *muffins*... :sherlock: attacking 'muffins' is like attacking Derpy and is absolutely unexcusable !

Leave the poor muffins alone, and return to the cupcakes 'in your eye'... seriously, people do not know 'decency' now these days.
Reply
:iconcapnninja:
CapnNinja Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2011
As a corollary, that's not to say I disapprove, just that I garnered no enjoyment from this.
Reply
:iconcapnninja:
CapnNinja Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2011
From me, you get a big, resounding "Meh"
The copious use of the present tense, the repeated references to the original that Derpy never would have been able to know or otherwise just don't mesh, the jump-cuts, the poor pacing and the overall lack of anything making it special just culminate in a big expulsion of nothing.

I don't see anything objectively good about this at all, just a lack of things making it bad. All it really has going for it is the concept, and that gets broken down by the fact it's not actually original, just a follow-up to Sgt. Sprinkles' piece.
Reply
:icongraymousegrl:
graymousegrl Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2011
What you said, combined with ..."somepony even WORST". Really? Really? REALLY? -.-
Reply
:iconspartanxiii:
SPARTANXIII Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2011
Dexter, Derpy and the single most gruesome Fan-Fic ever!

This is..............quite the combination..............
Reply
:iconcitrus--rain:
Citrus--Rain Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Could not figure this out until the comments. Feels very... copypasta though.
Reply
:iconweirdkev-27:
WeirdKev-27 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011
Copy what?
Reply
:iconcitrus--rain:
Citrus--Rain Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
You quoted the original alot.

That's all I meant.
Reply
:iconsquirdgle:
Squirdgle Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2011
An Alot wrote Cupcakes? My my, that's quite surprising. Well I guess in the context of "Original Alot", that could be referencing the fact that really all of us are Alots in the end. Quite philosophical, if you think about it. Thank you, fellow Alot.
Reply
:iconcitrus--rain:
Citrus--Rain Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconfacehoofplz:
Reply
:icontarvoc:
Tarvoc Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2011
This is glorious. You should submit it to Equestria Daily.
Reply
:iconsnigelkrantz:
Snigelkrantz Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2011
Haha, this was really fun to read. Derpy as Dexter was hilarious. Plus for wingboner! Oh I can't wait for the new season of Dexter... and FiM.. Oh the agonising wait! Will summer never end! :P
Reply
:iconcaliforniasigma:
CaliforniaSigma Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2011  Student General Artist
XD im gunna draw a Dexter pony now.
but, in this story, what is he? a Pegasus?
Reply
:iconweirdkev-27:
WeirdKev-27 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2011
This isn't actually Dexter. It's Derpy Hooves!
Reply
:iconcaliforniasigma:
CaliforniaSigma Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2011  Student General Artist
QoQ oh dear Celestia!
lol niiice
Reply
:iconsaint-walker:
Saint-Walker Featured By Owner May 20, 2011
Dexter, meet Derpster
Reply
:iconjaredraptor:
Jaredraptor Featured By Owner May 19, 2011
You glorious bastard.

You glorious, BRILLIANT bastard.

I faved this like the Fist of the North Star, and if I could I'd fave it again and again
Reply
:iconthatrealycoolguy:
Thatrealycoolguy Featured By Owner May 18, 2011
...I have never been so scared of pinkie pie or derpy hooves in my entire life...
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner May 17, 2011
Oh Derpster, you're our lovable pony serial killing serial killer. This amused me greatly.
Reply
:iconnova225:
Nova225 Featured By Owner May 16, 2011
You know... Writting a ''follow up story''' of one, if not THE most hated, disliked AND infamous stories of the MLP:FiM universe... One that should have died and stayed buried DEEP in the forgotten memories !

...might not have been the best option ?

But of course... That's just my opinion...

-------------------------

...The feared day has come... The portal of Pony Hell has been opened, on DA...

May the *muffins* have mercy of the pony fandom...
Reply
:iconmomsbaby:
momsbaby Featured By Owner May 18, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
It's not hated if so many people search for it. It's THE most gruesome and original fanfic, but not the most hated.

Infamous? no
You're just someone who dislikes horror.
Which may explain why you dislike it so much. Many people like gore and the fact that it uses a child's show is rather... sadistic and I find it quite interesting.
Also, it is well-written. It may be sickening and sadistic, but it is NOT a horrible fanfic.

Horrible fanfics are when you use improper spelling, improper grammar, and you fail to capture your audience.

I think Sergeant Sprinkles did an excellent job.
Of course, that is just my opinion.

And if you read it twice... why? Especially if you dislike it so much.. D:
Reply
:iconnova225:
Nova225 Featured By Owner May 18, 2011
It IS qualified as ''Infamous'' by most, in any case.

Grimdark, for the pure and unnecessary sake to be gruesome, without justified purpose... Isn't good Grimdark.
I have read MANY War-Grimdark, Sad-Grimdark, even some Political-Grimdark (all MLP:FiM)... Not all, but many of them had, or rather, handled it ''elegantly'', and not just sadistically ''just because they could''.

Twice ? Yes, the ''other'' about a month ago, and a few days ago to refresh my memory (I do my 'homework' when required... even if not pleasant for one bit)
Reply
:iconmomsbaby:
momsbaby Featured By Owner May 18, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, it could have a purpose, but it's probably because the author had a love for gruesome stories.
"Just because they could" is just.. I hate that excuse so much when it comes to writing ;n;

'Homework' is sort of interesting, I guess.
Although, I have to admit that may be the cause. It is quite interesting, nonetheless. In my opinion, again.

I am a bit of a sadist, though e-e
Not in a sexual way o-o

At least YOU, unlike many other people, give a valid and well-written argument. It makes me glad ;u;
Reply
:iconnova225:
Nova225 Featured By Owner May 18, 2011
I do have opinions, and usually don't fear to let them know... especially since I ALWAYS back them with everything I'm able to find.

Neutrality and objectivity are hard arts to practice, one could say.

Strategies, planning, etc... You know.
Reply
:iconmomsbaby:
momsbaby Featured By Owner May 18, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes.

I'm actually different with this. I normally use my emotions and SOME knowledge. I barely search up knowledge, because normally, I have a reason to back it up, anyway, and emotions are quite a big part in your opinion.
Reply
:iconnova225:
Nova225 Featured By Owner May 19, 2011
Emotions in argumentation are (and will) always there, yes, but the more you know the easier you can use them.

For, like, anger... Why do I feel anger ? What is causing this anger ?
-there, there, and there-
Now, what do I know about those points ? What can I get more about them, and can I find more ? How will I defend them, and do I have enough room to leave a reasonable ''margin of error'' ?

The more you know, the faster and the better will those interrogations be answered. And all started with a single ''emotion''.

...So far this 'discussion' is more interesting than the actual story, but that's just me... ;)
Reply
:iconmomsbaby:
momsbaby Featured By Owner May 19, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
haha, yeah, it is.

I didn't find this 'Muffins' fanfic too interesting :/
It seems more like it's a self-insert rather than a 'Dexter' thing.

And it's obviously Derpy Hooves because of the crossed eyes.
Not to mention, it has many errors.

It also doesn't give much proof as to how they found out about Pinkie's habits and they practically took the description of the 'play house'(My name for it xD) right out of the original.

I totally agree, though xD
It is much more interesting
Reply
:iconweirdkev-27:
WeirdKev-27 Featured By Owner May 16, 2011
Didn't you read it first?
Reply
:iconnova225:
Nova225 Featured By Owner May 17, 2011
This one or the ''other'' one ? Whatever the answer, mine is ''twice''. And I maintain my words, as well as many other people I know who also read that ''other'' story.
Reply
:iconweirdkev-27:
WeirdKev-27 Featured By Owner May 17, 2011
Say, you wouldn't happen to know how I can get this on Equestia Daily would you?
Reply
:icongrudgeholder:
Grudgeholder Featured By Owner May 15, 2011
nice dexter story
Reply
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